Healing After a Breakup

Ah, breakups. The ultimate self-esteem killer.

Even the most confident of you begin to question yourselves after a break-up.

What’s wrong with you that you couldn’t make it work? Is there a defect in your personality? Some unhealed trauma you haven’t resolved? Are you the problem?

It’s possible, you might be the problem (or part of it). Doing some self-reflection is always a good idea. Figure out why things went the way they did and move forward.

Love doesn’t always work out. It’s not supposed to. Accepting that can help you feel better about it.

Other Feel-Better Tactics


Simply wanting to feel better in itself is a good start. Which I share in my video of the same topic. Check it out here if you want: Getting Over a Break-Up.

It’s easy to sit in your sadness. To use it as the weight that’s holding you down. But you can’t stay there forever, that’s no way to live.

Start taking some steps towards the future. The steps can be as big or small as you’d like. But here are some ideas:

  1. Grieve. Feel it to heal it. You can’t skip the parts that hurt. It doesn’t matter if you were the one that called it quits or they were. Either way involves some pain. You have to say hello to that pain, investigate it. See where it leads you. You are allowed to sit beside it like an old friend and discuss what went wrong. This is the biggest tip towards real healing I can give you. Don’t run from it, face it. Own the areas where you messed up. Understand the fact that issues within others aren’t your fault, nor your responsibility to fix. You might be a learning lesson for them on their journey. It has nothing to do with you.
  2. Clean Your Space. This always seems like a silly tip to give. But it’s amazing the profound effect your surroundings can have on you. A messy room will feel chaotic and stressful. There’s something so therapeutic about organizing the space around you. Try it. Put on some good music and do some deep cleaning.
  3. Eat Better. Despite what the movies say, now is not the time to binge eat ice cream. That’ll only make you feel worse. Nourish your body with food that feels good. Fruits, vegetables, soup, etc. Choose the healthy foods you like and eat those. My kids refuse to believe me, but the food you eat can affect your mood. They’ve even done real scientific studies on it. Boom kids!
  4. Move Your Body. You have so many options for movement. Go for a walk or a jog. Go to the gym. Pull up free yoga videos on YouTube (Adriene is my favorite check her out here: Yoga with Adriene).
  5. Close the Chapter. Pack up your ex’s things. Return them. Box up the things you’re done with but not ready to throw away. Close that door. Get ready to open a new one.
  6. Keep Tabs on Where You Are. Pay attention to how you feel. Don’t be in a hurry to open a new door. Some people heal quickly, others pretend to heal quickly and jump into something else because they’re uncomfortable being alone. Know the difference and do the work.
  7. Do Things You Enjoy. Spend time with people you love, that love you. If you have hobbies, do them. If you have no idea what you like, try new things. Try a painting class, or sing, hike, travel, try new foods. Life is an adventure. Get to know yourself and what you find beautiful and fun. After all, the relationship you have with yourself is more important than any other relationship. You’re bound to yourself until the day you die. No breakups. So, invest some time there and make that relationship a great one.
  8. Counseling. Half the people I know go to counseling and are better off for it. Check out counseling options in your area. If you just can’t get on board with that, do it the old school way, seek counsel from your friends. But talk about the things you need to talk about. It helps.

Hope for the Future

The end of a relationship isn’t the end of the world.

It just means you learned all you could from that situation and now it’s time to part ways. Go learn something new.

Move forward.

And don’t let the bad experiences ruin the future good ones. A bad partner is a bad partner. It’s not the fault of future partners. So, own your issues and work through them before jumping into a new relationship.

Then lastly, take a look in the mirror and remember who the HELL you are. You are the only you in this world. Be glad for that. Own the great things about you. Embrace yourself, your purpose, the magic that is your life!

Keep learning and keep moving. Love is great, but life is about learning. It’s more about learning than it is about loving. Learn from the experiences and taste the fruit of life.

Have a magical day. And girl, fix that crown.


If you liked reading this post, please share it with a friend. Someone that might need to hear this message.

If you are that friend, and you’d like to sign up to receive my blog posts, you can do so at the bottom of this page: https://girlfixyourcrown.com/about/

And while we’re on the subject of my blog, here are a few other topics you might like:

Have a Great Year, Any Time of the Year

Love Your Body

We’re All a Little F’d Up

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I accept the Privacy Policy

By signing up for this guide, you will also be added to my mailing list. You will receive periodic updates and special offers from me via email. I will not sell or distribute your email address to a third party at any time. View my privacy policy.

Your Free 30 Day Self

Discovery Journal